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Marvin's cinema had a whole dedicated section on the balcony for couples wanting to spice up their love lives. There could be up to people up there on a Saturday night.

They were all very regular-looking people. Picture a PTA meeting with genitals hanging out. And good ol' Marvin was their guide: "If the couple was new, I somehow had to make the situation not awkward.

I would ask them if they'd been here before, if they 'liked to party,' which I assumed was the correct term for 'swing.

If they were more reserved, I would dress it up as a kinky date spot where anything can happen. An important thing is to convey that the situation is under control.

But like Marvin's other job was keeping the peace in the floor area -- i. The patrons would come to the lobby and rat out on each other if anything bad was happening, and I'd then go in there with a flashlight and flash them from across the room.

Thankfully, I've never had to do that. Down there was a row of seats sectioned off for that specific reason. What would happen next is super, super weird.

They looked like a pack of drunk monkeys in mating season. It didn't look human. They just surrounded the couple I assume they all jerked off onto the wife, or just watched the couple go at it.

One of the Drunk Monkey Tribe later told Marvin that this cinema was "vanilla," and that at another he frequented, one husband would let all the men fuck his wife, then drink the contents of each condom after.

Did that really happen? Who knows? Who wants to know? Not us. Much like Bushido, there is a porn cinema code. We also call that code "Bushido," but with a different emphasis.

Marvin explains: "There were a few different designated spots around the cinema where different men would stand on for hours on end, looking very, very sad.

Where you stood advertised what you were looking for. For example, if you stood in the corner by the bathroom, that meant you wanted to suck someone off.

A different spot meant you were down for something else. That was a popular one, and the rotation was fast. There was one spot parallel to that, but it was kind of out of the way, and away from where most men would hang out.

It was less popular. Another spot was by the women's bathroom. I think one of their 'games' was pretending they were a lady going in there, and then some guy would look through a peephole as the other guy did You have to understand, though, that those guys needed to mix things up in between semi-public masturbation sessions, seeing as how Holy what?

What kind of smut was this cinema showing for its customers to burn a whole day there? Also, how much money did Marvin's boss make selling sports drinks to dehydrated marathon masturbators someone get the electronic broom?

My boss would choose pretty mainstream things. Nothing too crazy, as in no fetishes. They wouldn't care what movie would be playing.

These aren't happy men," Marvin said. Then they would shuffle in, buy a ticket, and go start their day in the dark. They would come out for peanuts, chips, popcorn we would sell in the lobby, and hurry back in like little rodents.

An entire 12 hours is a bit extreme, but it happened. On average, I estimate men spent four hours per visit. Well done. Hey look, another double entendre.

Good job, us. Anyway, despite literally everything we've mentioned so far, Marvin doesn't remember this job as particularly pleasant.

A month into the job, there's no way I could be aroused by an XXX movie. It was moving wallpaper, basically. It's still like that. If I see an xHamster clip or whatever, it has no effect on me whatsoever By the seventh or eighth month, I dreaded working there.

Once the novelty wears off, you notice the atmosphere is thick with loneliness, yearning, and dissatisfaction. I still associate all porn with those feelings, which is probably why I don't like it anymore.

By being exposed to so much porn, Marvin eventually started seeing the man behind the curtain. And once he threw that pervert out of the theater, he also noticed that porn is kind of depressing behind the scenes.

The illusion is lost on me. That girl in the movie is paying bills. The adventures of an eccentric girl who has strange attitudes towards hygiene and sexuality longs for the reunion of her divorced parents.

R 93 min Comedy, Crime, Thriller. A thirtysomething bank clerk from St Albans has his small-town life exploded by the arrival of his Russian mail-order bride.

R 89 min Crime, Drama, Romance. Two inner-city teenagers engage in an obsessive, innocent flirtation fueled by Lila's sexually explicit overtures.

R 90 min Comedy. R 88 min Comedy. A group of teenage summer campers and one counselor share the stories of their first sexual experiences when an avalanche traps them in a cave Votes: R 93 min Crime, Mystery, Thriller.

A lesbian private detective dives head first into murder, manipulation and the consuming power of sex. R 90 min Comedy, Romance.

Two months shy of their wedding, a couple decide to allow each other last flings until their wedding. Relationship filled with pitfalls between a pleasant female video producer and a gallery owner as they become embroiled in their self-spun web of illusions.

Bitter-sweet serenade to modern courtship. Votes: 1, Not Rated 96 min Action, Crime. Two Los Angeles detectives are assigned to track down and arrest a brutal rapist-murderer terrorizing the city.

Their job is complicated by the fact that the killer is able to avoid capture because he can pose as a woman. A romantic comedy about a girl with an unrequited crush on a boy who thinks she's bad in bed, so she goes out to get more "experience".

A high school girl engages in compensated dating in order to buy an expensive ring before the day ends. Unrated 93 min Drama.

A day in the life of several prostitutes in an upscale Manhattan whore house. The film is a stark portrayal of the women prostitutes, the male customers and the motivations of both.

Not Rated min Drama. Gilles' wife, Elise, who smiles when she thinks of him, cooks and scrubs and cheerfully makes love to him, suspects during her third pregnancy that he is having an affair with her A young husband does not recognize his wife's postpartum depression until it's too late.

Sign In. IMDb user rating average 1 1. Crash NC min Drama 6. Scary Movie 2 R 83 min Comedy, Horror 5. Romance R 84 min Drama, Romance 5.

Shortbus Not Rated min Comedy, Drama 6. Wetlands Not Rated min Comedy, Drama 5. Barely Legal R 90 min Comedy 4. The First Turn-On!!

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